Dear all,
When you run into a giraffe, don't panic. Try not to stare straight into its eyes and act as if you are shy.
Then grab its neck with your right hand and slam it onto the ground, knocking it unconscious.
To make it absolutely sure, try stepping onto its head so that it won't suddenly jump up and overpower you.
Once it's lying on the ground, you may poke its eyes with your right hand, and check on its pulse with your left.
Done! Next week: Bringing down Goliath 101.
Elisabeth, will you marry me?
Huh, will you?
Hey, I'm not Elisabeth. I'm April!
Oh really? Aren't you Elisabeth? It doesn't matter. June, or whatever, will you marry me?
Martian in blue: "#$*@#$$**%#%$#$!#@#^!##$%>*?"
Martian in pale blue: "%^@*#%@$*$@*%@*??$%#%^."
Martian in blue: "*$%#%$#^**@$#!*#$^!"
Martian in pale blue: $%!$%@^$!^$^&%$!^%#@^&!%&^!!"
"Welcome to my home, kids. Good morning!"
"Thanks for waking me up. It's not early, so I'd better call and wake up my deer. They had a wild party last night and I'm not sure they are home yet."
"First things first, some push-ups for me. You know, the presents are quite heavy. I'm quite old and I don't want to injure myself. And frankly, I don't know to whom I should claim damages if injure myself at work ..."
"Okay, fatso, I think you need a chair. Merry X'mas!"
"Whew, what a day. It's time to tuck in. Happy eating!"
"Good, a new briefcase for me. I don't like the colour though. Why don't you get a pink one for me? At least it matches my shirt."
"Hey taxi!"
"Chumps, we need to maximise our profits and, well, it's 4:30 and let's call it a day."
"There is no better place than this club. I can have all the food and beverages I want, and all I have to do is to sit down and then someone will feed me!"
"Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz ..."
