Maximillian's Warning

Maximillian's Warning: Potties are hazardous to your (and your neighbour's) home. They can cause serious flooding, water seepage and various pollution problems. Children and babies without proper supervision should not try using them at home.

Yeah, We Did Go Hiking!

During the Easter Holiday, we decided it was time for us to go hiking with Daryl and Creamy.

While all of us were exhausted and tired by the walk up the "steep" hill, Daryl was the one who had the easiest ride. The theories of quantum physics and relativity say that we don't need to be physically strong to be pushed up and down the hill while sitting in a pram.

The trail at Mount Parker isn't the most physically demanding one, but was hilly enough for the Fab-Four, oh no, the Fat-Four (my wife, our domestic helper, Creamy and myself) to be panting like horses and swearing like sailors while at the very bottom of the hill. And when we saw many elder people running past us with absolute ease, we knew that we should have cut down on our snacks.

But none of us said anything, as we still madly in love with our snacks.

Speaking of snacks, we had a simple picnic and our helper had prepared some delicious chicken and cabbage sandwiches for us. While there wasn't that much food, we had made a serious mistake in our choice of beverage.

By bringing along three cans of regular Cokes (not Coke Light or Coke Zero) with us, we had definitely taken in far more calories than what we had burnt.

It was the best time of the year for hiking and picnic. The weather was fine and it was neither too cold nor too hot. That's why we also saw so many people hiking and picnicking with their babies or pets. But then I suddenly realised that we were the only ones to go hiking with a baby AND a pet, as if their babies and pets are estranged and cannot stand one another, and as if they'd rather have a chubby pet than a lovely child.

It was also the first time our domestic helper had met Creamy. Probably it was an outdoor settings, Creamy didn't bark and seemed to welcome our domestic helper with open arms, or front legs to be exact.

Creamy was obviously exhausted afterwards, as she once again refused to walk occasionally to take a breather on our way home. Just when I was about to scold her for being lazy, I found myself sitting comfortably in the couch, with stinky sweat covering my body, and another big can of Coke and big bag of chips in my hand, and not willing to move or do anything (taking a shower included) at all.

And what did Daryl do after the picnic? He had a huge dinner with rice and congee, and then went to bed immediately. Hey, at least I was still moving a little bit (i.e., picking up the remote controls) after having all the snacks.

Talk about like father, like son.

Hey, We Went Hiking!

Details on our hiking trip coming soon ...

Happy Haagen-Dazs

You thought that children are always an embarrassment when you bring them to an eatery? Think again, as Daryl proves that a 9-month-old kid can ask for a menu, make up his mind and order the things he wants.

Oh Girls!

Luckily Daryl is a boy. Otherwise I would have suffered a massive heart attack when I saw what happened to Daryl on Children's Day.

It was a dinner gathering at the neighbouring Cityplaza for us with his two godmothers and, after enjoying a good meal, we took Daryl to the ice-skating rink. Daryl had been there for a number of times, but that was the first time we went close to the rink. I bet when Daryl saw such a big piece of white ice on the floor, he must have been wondering, "What the heck are they doing on my spilled milk?"

Anyway, as we were watching the boys and girls circling the rink time and again, three girls (I bet none of them was more than 10-year-old) suddenly came straight at Daryl and started yelling at him. They were visibly excited (as the Plexiglass around the rink blocked what they said) and were trying their very best to capture Daryl's attention. They waved and jumped and yelled and spun, and the only things they didn't do was to flash their body and moon him.

I thought Daryl must have been the provocateur by making some obscene gestures to them, so I took a look at him. But he was just sitting there, taking everything into his eyes as if he had seen them all before. (And I don't mean I have flashed my body to him or mooned him.)

I am not sure what had happened to the girls (like whether they were on drugs or stuff like that), but as we were leaving the rink, our conversation was filled with words like "bold", "Oh my God" or even "(bleeping) b_tchy". And luckily their parents were not around as they would have spanked us hard after hearing what we had to say.

But Daryl was just enjoying the ride in his pram, not a bit flinched or disturbed by his crazy and adoring fans. And for a baby who has never produced any albums or starred in any blockbuster movies, the girls' action falls somewhere between childishly funny and plain ridiculous.

I wonder what the girls would have done had Daryl been really a Hollywood star. They would have flashed their bodies to him, mooned him, and then some.

And their parents would have spanked them, hard.

And so there goes my plan of giving birth to a daughter (at least for the moment).

Part-time Parents

Parents in Hong Kong are the unlucky ones.

The unreasonably high living standard makes it virtually impossible for any of us to become a full-time parent. If you are lucky enough, you will have your ass saved by being a tenant of the public housing estates where the rent is cheap and the price is low. But if you aren't one of them, you will have to work your brains out to repay your mortgage with the bank for the teeny tiny flat you have bought, which is so small that you can't even flex your legs when you sleep.

Yours Truly and Yours Truly's wife are the semi-lucky ones. While we aren't tenants of the public housing estates, we aren't flat owners at the moment either, currently renting a flat as our temporary home. But that doesn't mean we don't have to work hard. Milk powder, clothes and food all cost a fortune, and remember, we don't have to spend money on education, piano lessons, soccer class and tutorial, YET.

Yours Truly always blames himself for not being smart enough to be among the top echelons of some international conglomerates. That means Yours Truly's wife can't quit her job to stay home to take care of our Dear Daryl full-time, and that we have to hire a live-in domestic helper to help us out.

Our daily routine looks like this:
- Wake up at 6, and play with Daryl for a short while;
- Leave home at about 7, and watch how Daryl is doing through the IP cameras;
- Go home at about 7 and play with Daryl for a short while;
- Dinner at about 8;
- Play with him for another short while; and
- Daryl goes to bed at about 10.

If you do the math, you can see that there is just a couple of hours (quality or not) we can spend with Daryl every day. No wonder we have found it quite difficult to make him laugh sometimes. Sadly, we have missed so many memorable moments in his rapid development. Very often we have to listen to our domestic helper about the wonderful things that Daryl has done while we are busy at work.

Yours Truly's friend, Angry Eyes, says that she is sad that she can't be a full-time mother. Yours Truly feels the same too. But what can we do?

Get a Mark Six ticket, of course!

Otherwise we'd better suck it up and stop sulking.